when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
