I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
