What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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