i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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