He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
