Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
