Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
