Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
