we made out on top of his cat.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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