after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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