I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
