Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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