it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
