guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
