You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i out mim tonsoeep
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