Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
