I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
