I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
