I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
