after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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