I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
