i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
