You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
