That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
