So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
