I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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