I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
