Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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