just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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