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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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