i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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