ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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