garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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