so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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