then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
