"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize