you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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