So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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