No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
