Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
