What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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