Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
