That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
A bitchslap is in order.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
