I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
