so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
