dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
