saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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