i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
how do flat chested girls get laid?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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