He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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