look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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