So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize