East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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