I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
