I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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