Non-Jews are for practice
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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