why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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