Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
