Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
