So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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