she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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