I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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