I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
