nut hugger
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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