I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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