When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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