Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
