Porn is love you can see.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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