Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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