if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
