I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
