when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
