just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize