I just saw a hot homeless man
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize