are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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