I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
