Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
