Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
